


Matched

by Mutterjager



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mutterjager/pseuds/Mutterjager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At 16, teenagers all over the world are paired together with their soulmate. The Matching was meant to stop stress and worrying about being alone, but for Kyle it's doing the exact opposite. He's 15 and his birthday, as well as many other kids in his class, is fast approaching. He can only hope it'll turn out okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Creep

It was just another day is the quiet town of South Park. Kyle Broflovski was sitting at his desk in English class, tuning out Mr. Garrison as he stared dreamily out the window thinking about The Matching. The Matching was on every young teenager’s mind, seeing that most people in high school were nearing the age required to participate; 16. The Matching would show you who your soulmate was, the person you were destined to fit with. 99.98% of the time it was correct in matching two people together or sometimes the rare chance for three people together. 

Kyle slid his gaze from the window to the rest of the room. He had seen these white wash walls, cheap fake wooden desks, with over-inspirational posters plastered all over thousands of times. He remarked Stan Marsh texting under the desk to a giggling Wendy Testaburger, they shared glances and what not like the saps they were. He saw Kenny McCormick snoozing, briefly wondering what the blonde was dreaming about. And finally his eyes came to rest on Eric Cartman. The fatass that Kyle hated with a passion to match white hot coals. He was just sitting there spacing out before noticing Kyle staring and raised an eyebrow at him. Kyle glared and turned quickly around, letting out a quiet huff while Cartman chuckled. 

‘What a douche.’ Kyle rested his head on his desk and let his thoughts wander again, before he slipped asleep. 

“Dude, wake up. Kyle, class ended.” Stan bumped Kyle’s back with his elbow. 

“..ow. Okayokay I’m up, god.” Kyle lifted his head, disconnecting the drool that now pooled on the desk, and stretched. “What time is it?” He asked, sleep still heavy in his voice. 

“Like noon, man. You slept a lot, are you okay? Getting enough sleep at ho’-”

“Stan I’m fine, was just bored.” Kyle snapped at him, cutting his sentence off. Stan had been worrying about Kyle’s restless behavior as it came closer to The Matching. Since Kyle never had any romantic long lasting relationship it was causing Kyle a bit of anxiety. ‘What if I’m not called up? What if I’m not Matched? What if it’s wrong?’ were just some of the thousands of repeated questions that occupied Kyle’s thoughts. 

“Well..okay. Let’s go to lunch then dude.” Stan offered Kyle a reassuring smile before turning around and waiting for him by the doorway. 

“Alright. Sounds good.” Kyle smiled back before following, pushing down his worry and relishing in the company of his Super Best Friend. The Matching could be faced another time. 

/ / / \ \ \ 

The snow littered the landscape making it seem way more happy and upbeat than it was. Footsteps and compacted ice composed the ground of the bus stop where Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny waited to go home. It was 2:35, meaning the bus was 15 minutes late...like always. 

“If this old fat tub of lard that thinks she can drive a bus doesn’t show her rat face in the next two minutes I will honestly make her eat her own shit.” Cartman grumbled, spewing whatever non-sense he could think of into the cold air. Really, he had mellowed out a little bit since Middle School, no longer planning any huge schemes like he used to. He even lost some weight as he took up boxing, even though he was still chubby compared to the other three boys. 

All the boys had changed in some way. Kenny was now living in a foster home, he discarded his parka for a sweater, and was quite popular since he showered and talked. Stan was on the football team and leader of the animal rights club, dating on and off with Wendy. Kyle was into swimming and chess club, which Cartman made fun of him for, calling him ‘not only a jew but a nerd as well’. Life really shaped up. 

“Chill, Eric. You can wait.” Kenny said. The only reason he didn’t get sucker punched for calling Cartman by his first name was that the two had grown really close over the summer. “Just be happy we have a driver, even if she does look like she could be your sister.” 

“Shut up, McCormick. Be grateful my mom packs extra snacks for you, that's going right out of my family’s money to supply your sack of shit self.” Cartman retorted back.

“Both of you stop. It’s annoying…” Kyle grumbled, grumpy from the cold himself. 

“Oh please, Jew. You should be used to this whole winter thing, ya know Hitler and all.” 

“Cartman. Don’t wind me up. I really just want t-”

“To suck these balls?” Cartman had a smirk on, the same smirk he always has when messing with Kyle. “Kyle, all you had to say was please. If jews even know what manners are that is.” 

“CARTMAN STOP! I really can’t believe you! Go suck your own dick, fatass. I'm cold and stressed, i don't need this right now..” 

“Poor Je-” 

“Cartman, he said stop.” Stan said in a tired voice, “So if you don't want me beating you up or Wendy to, i would suggest you stop.” 

The mention of what went down with Wendy and Cartman made him for once shut his mouth. Surprise surprise, the bus also finally arrived, welcoming the boys to a warm comforting air and the promise of home.

/ / / \ \ \ 

Kyle laid on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Plastic glow in the dark stars were still stuck up there from when Kyle was obsessed with space. In his boredom he counted them. ending up with 28 in total. 

Rolling over, he shoved his face into his pillow. It was quiet. Creepily quiet. 

rap rap rap 

‘What the hell..?’ Kyle’s head shot up, and he sat up quickly. His head searched the room, looking for the source of the soft strange noise. 

rap rap rap

Movement from the window caught his attention and he cautiously slid off his bed, heading toward it. He saw a hand, then an arm, and then…

“Cartman. What the ever living fuck.” 

Cartman was perched outside Kyle’s window on a ladder, staring inside at Kyle with a cheery smile. He motioned for the redhead to open the window, which Kyle did. “Hello, Jew. I was just um..stopping by to ask about..the homework for tonight? Perfectly domestic question for a totally normal reason. I used your window since I don’t like your mom, she's a bitch as you kno-” 

“Cartman that’s so bullshit and you know it. But whatever, its page 49 in our spanish book, now get the fuck outta here.” Kyle leaned over, and gripped the ladder, then cast it backward. “Byeee, fatass~” 

“KYLE YOU FUCKING SHIT JEW!!” Cartman yelled at him as he was sent tumbling backward, hitting the snow and then getting smacked in the face by the ladder. “I hate you...so much. And you will regret that.” 

“Cartman, you creep, you deserved it. Now go away before I dial 911 on your pervert ass.” 

Cartman scrambled up and half heartedly jogged out of Kyle’s backyard, throwing the middle finger up at him as he did so.

“God..that was weird to say the least…” Kyle grumbled, flopping back down on his bed before his mother forced him to complete the tons of homework he had that day.


	2. Love is NOT in the Air

The next day in school, Kyle angrily confronts Cartman about last night, wanting to get some answers to explain his freak-ish behavior. 

“Fatass, why were you spying or doing god-knows-what at my window?” Kyle glared at Cartman, his nose all scrunched up and arms crossed.

“Important work. Which is none of your business by the way.” 

“IT WAS MY ROOM! IT’S MY BUSINESS BY DEFAULT!” Kyle lost his cool and started yelling, which only made Cartman more secretive. 

“Jesus shut up Kahl, do you have sand in your vag again? Poor jew. I would get that checked out if I were you.” 

“GOD NO CARTMAN, I have a DICK!” Kyle at this point was bright red and panting slightly from all the yelling, his shoulders tense and hunched as he tried with all his might not to kick the shit out of Cartman right then and there. “Just.. I need to cool off, Stan says being angry will make me die young or something...Don’t fucking STALK me again.” He then turned and left, needing space and not being able to stand looking at Cartman’s face another second. 

“Bye, don’t let the Nazi’s get you, Kahl!” Cartman cheerfully called out, smirking as he visually saw Kyle ball his hands into fists. Cartman really didn’t hate Kyle as much as he wanted Kyle to think he did. Without Kyle, his day would be pretty boring and he was aware of this fact. It made him uneasy to think about how much of his time he thought about Kyle and not even in a bad way. In his opinion, it was fucking weird. Too weird. He had a growing suspicion in the far back reaches of his mind that Kyle was his Soul Mate from The Matching. Even though his conscious brain would never ever admit this. 

Plus, Cartman’s family didn’t have the greatest memories with The Matching. 

See, what happens is everyone lines up, and one at a time everyone at the age of 16 drops a tiny amount of their blood into a bowl. Then, names appear matched (hence the name) up on a huge screen. A kiss to seal the deal follows, then the tattooing of your Soul Mates name to your wrist of your dominant hand. 

This method of matching was only created to stop people from being alone and keep the population happy and healthy. 

His mother however, had a blank spot next to her name.

No match. 

No Soul Mate. 

That’s why his mother whored about with widows, or other rare cases as herself and even sometimes Matched couples. Cartman feared and suspected that if Kyle wasn’t his Soul Mate then no one was. He didn’t know which was scarier, but for now, he wasn’t going to think about it. He was only 15 and ‘not motherfucking gay’ as he kept telling himself. 

/ / / \ \ \ 

Later that day after school had ended, Kyle went over to Stan’s to do homework and hang out. Just bros being bros. 

“Dude, Cartman hasn’t ever started up with stalking until recently. He chilled out since elementary school so I doubt he’s planning something... “ Stan glumly said, hoping Kyle would just drop the subject of Cartman and go back to playing videogames with him. Cartman was kind of a huge mood killer. 

“NO! He was outside my WINDOW! Isn’t that just a little bit creepy to you? Just a bit??” Kyle was sitting cross legged on Stan’s beanbag in his room, glaring up at him where he sat on the bed. “And with the Matching coming up, I cannot be distracted. I’m already super stressed!” 

Stan shifted uncomfortably and frowned. He didn’t know how to handle Kyle, the redhead was so emotional it made him feel bad for not knowing what to do. “Well, just ignore him maybe? You know he just gets off on you giving him attention.” 

Kyle sighed, not liking the current situation brewing. It didn't help that Stan felt just as uncomfortable, probably more, and clammed up because of this. 

“Ugh, I guess. Whatever. He’s too dumb to worry over. Let’s just forget it and play some Fallout 4?” Kyle knew Stan was bad at giving advice, and if he had to think about Cartman one more time his head was going to bust. He gave the raven haired boy a smile, before catching the Xbox controller that was tossed toward him. “Thanks man. I don’t know what’d I do without you.” 

Stan just rolled his eyes and started up the Xbox, “Now you’re acting like me.”

Kyle smiled again at that, thanking the supernatural forces for at least ONE normal friend. 

Suddenly, Stan’s phone rang out. The noirette quickly answered it, a light blush already visible as he found out who was on the other end. 

A few minutes passed in silence, before Kyle glanced at Stan, growing concerned at the shocked expression painted across his best friend’s face. “Stan..?”  
Stan let out a shaky breath, clutching the phone before stuttering out, “Wendy! P-please! Listen to me, hear me out here ba-” 

Wendy’s voice was so loud it could be heard through the phone. She was practically yelling. “Don’t you DARE call me that, Stanley. I told you before and I am not telling you again after this, we are over.” 

The phone line went silent, then a blaring beep started to sound off. Stan shut off his phone at this point, staring ahead in disbelief. Wendy just dumped him. His brain was short ciructing. 

“Stan, what just happened…?” Kyle put the controller off to the side and crawled off the bean bag to settle down next to Stan. 

Stan flinched, scooting away from the redhead and shaking his head slightly. “Dude… she thinks we are gay together or some shit…” His eyes held confusion and betrayal, torn between his super best friend and the love of his life. “She didn’t even hear me out! We don’t even hang out that much, I’m around her more than you! I don’t get it, Ky.” 

“She thinks we’re gay?” Kyle couldn’t help but chuckle at this statement. It was so far fetched and weird! “Do you think someone maybe manipulated her..? Unlike Wendy to accuse you before some diplomatic approach to the problem.” Kyle tilted his head in thought, already suspecting Token since the tall boy had always had an eye out for Wendy. 

Stan covered his face and fell back onto the bed. “Maybe. Too much thinking.” He muttered, wanting to just take a nap. 

“Well dude, you do your homework and maybe sleep. You seem pretty tired.” Kyle mused. He noticed Stan’s behavior and thought it best to leave him alone for now. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah dude, peace..” 

/ / / \ \ \

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo another one! Sorry it took so long!!! I had exams and lazy-ness ;w; BUT AYYYYE IT'S HERE! Leave your thoughts? I'd love to hear feed back! <33

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH! My first fanfic!! I write this in school, so be prepared for updates !! I'm sorry if it sucks kinda, I haven't written anything in so long :'D plus kinda winging this a bit but i find the whole soul mates stuff kinda cute ~ 
> 
> ANYWAY, tell me if it's good??? And if you want more, which i will happily provide <3


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